Forever alone in the classroom

I sit totally alone in the classroom. So what do I mean by this? I always sit by a lonely, single table in the far left of the classroom. While all the other tables are single tables put together to 2 or 3 wide tables, mine is just all alone, far apart from everyone else.

It’s not like I’ve willingly gotten this placement. I’ve on several occasions asked to either get another single table next to me, or to change where I sit. Both were responded to with a speculative “We’ll see about that next time the seatings change”. Oh yeah, I don’t get my seating changed. Ever.

So why is it the way it is? Honestly, I don’t fucking know.

It’s not like this is something new. I remember getting this kind of treatment as early as in 6th grade. There was this period of time where I ALWAYS would be next to this girl. Nothing against her (tbh she’s kinda cute ・v・), but it’d get kinda boring. Then after a change of seating, she ended up sitting next to someone else, and I was all alone, with an empty table next to me. It wasn’t like I had done anything that warranted that either. And it was like that for the rest of 6th grade, sitting totally alone.

Then 7th grade rolls around and we get a complete new set of teachers. I had a table next to me, and I had people next to me. Fun stuff! Then… Something happened once again, and it goes empty for the rest of the year. Once again, I don’t fucking know why.

8th grade rolls around and we walk into our new classroom. And that’s when I see that I am going to be sitting totally alone. No table next to me, just loneliness. Same with when 9th grade rolled around.

Now, it might not be too bad at first glance, but imagine when we need to be grouped together. Oh boy, imagine when we need to be grouped together. I either have to move to the double tables behind me or take scraps that’s left over from people sitting next to sick classmates.

It feels incredibly sad when we’re told to discuss something with your “benchmate” or something like that, and I… don’t have one.